State Farm: A Collection of Two Sonnets

Ok. So I'm still pissed about this whole State Farm shit. I don't really know how to handle it in a healthy manner.

So, in hopes of avoiding doing something stupid, I decided to put my aggression into a couple of sonnets. Today, I present to you, State Farm: A Collection of Two Sonnets.

I Hate that Asshole, "Why, Dad? Why?"

On a great, beautiful Saturday,
From down south came the team of Texas Tech.
I was driving to watch my Sooners play,
When suddenly I got into a wreck.

This stupid fuck was making a u-turn,
When his vehicle collided with mine.
That pig fucking asshole had no concern,
On my feces, I now want him to dine.

Daily, I deal with bullshit from State Farm
All because this fucker sprayed them with lies.
Now I want to cause him much vengeful harm
And will cherish the day “Why, Dad? Why?” dies.

He wronged me by not showing any class,
Now I will shove a grenade up his ass.

I Hate that Asshole, Dickless in Tulsa

I received a phone call the other day,
It was Dickless in Tulsa from State Farm.
Asshole said for my wreck I had to pay,
And now I want to break his fucking arm.

I want to watch Dickless suffer and scream.
I want to punch that shit’s ugly face in.
I want to evoke his scariest dream.
I want there to be blood in his urine.

I hope he never has any children
Because that cock wrench is a fucking tool.
I want to throw him into a cauldron
And eliminate him from the gene pool.

Because a crime, I don’t want to commit,
Dickless, you are a lucky piece of shit.